I can't carry on
   This play is too long
   I must be going
   Extend my regrets
   I gave it my best
   But now I'm going
   This is too much for me to take
   Something tells me that she's faking it
   She says she don't care
   She wants to be fair
   She must be joking
   It's simple she said
   Let's not lose our head
   Tell me she's joking
   This is too much for me to take
   But somebody isn't faking
   Someone's heart is breaking
   And if you see her give her my critique
   She's a bad little actress
   Gets no curtain call
   But the worst of all
   When the curtain falls
   There's no one at the backstage door
  
   I'm more than her friend
   'Cause I knew her when
   She was no sensation
   She's wasting our time
   Repeats all her lines
   What's her motivation?
   Now she won't share her stage with me
   Her performance was outrageous
   Put me through some changes
   So if you see her give her my critique
   She's a bad little actress
   Her delivery don't come naturally
   Anyone could see she doesn't mean a word she says
   Her mascara ran
   And the show was panned
   But I'm still her biggest fan
   So when you see her give her my critique
   She's a bad little actress
   Gets no curtain call
   But the worst of all
   When the curtain falls
   There's no one at the backstage door