Christopher calls me,
   He calls me complaining,
   He’s already waited too long
   To begin
   The world is on one side
   And I'm on the other
   And I read in a magazine
   And I am what I is
   I am....
  
   Brian the actor
   That he does on Saturdays
   In nothing but a bowtie
   He would bring me a drink
   He tells me he sweats it
   Like pig in a blanket
   And I ran out of toothpicks
   But I don't have a thing
   And I am
  
   Oooooh...
  
   Chorus:
   Well autumn will come
   And everyone loves you when you've already won
   And I'm here to tell you that I don't care if up turns you down
   Just to hear you say I am what I am
   When I am what I is
   I am what I am
   When I am what I is
  
   Jeanny is lonely
   She lives with her parents
   She saves all her money
   So she can spend it in Spain
   Her boss doesn't get it
   She says to forget it
   I told her we're different
   But she knows we're the same
   And I am...
  
   Ooohhhh....
  
   Chorus
  
   Christopher calls me
   He calls me complaining
   And I am what I am
   And I am what I is
   Repeat