I got me a job on the local paper
   Everybody there thinks I'm nice
   But they'd better look twice
   `Cos it isn't me
   I wanna be
  
   Headline hustler
   Scandal maker
   Headline hustler
   Money taker
  
   You keep writing me letters
   But I haven't got time
   I'm busy looking at photographs
   But they'd better not be from the BBC
   You're gonna hear from me
  
   Headline hustler
   Scandal maker
   Headline hustler
   Money taker
  
   Better not turn around
   I'll stab you in the back
   And you don't know what I'm hiding
   Under my plastic mac, under my plastic mac
  
   I got a very good friend in the CIA
   And he says that he never takes bribes
   But he's telling lies
   `Cos he's into me
   He knows I wanna be
  
   Headline hustler
   Scandal maker
   Headline hustler
   Money taker
  
   If your brother's wearing dresses
   And your neighbour's swapped his wife
   Well, I'm gonna make the headlines
   With your private life
   With your other wife
  
   Headline hustler
   Scandal maker
   Headline hustler
   Money taker
   Headline hustler
   Scandal maker
   Headline hustler
   Money taker