Dear Oderus Urungus
  Hey man, do you remember me?
  I remember you
  I was the guy with the grizzled face and the lousy weed
  And the really bad tattoo
  And now I'm doing 20 to life
  for killing the guy
  that was humping my wife
  So I thought I'd write a letter to you
  Scallop Boat now baby
  Scallop boat
  IV coke now baby
  Funky scallop, funky scallop boat
  I used to work on a scallop boat
  I made some money there
  I used to do the I.V. coke
  Lost some money there
  Scallop boat now baby
  Scallop boat
  I.V. coke now baby
  Funky scallop
  Funky scallop boat
  Down here in jail I do as I'm able
  Got caught smoking crack and they cut off my cable
  But could you drop by and maybe bust me outta here?
  But there is one thing that I don't understand
  I thought The South Pole was the home of the band
  Or do you just keep your slaves in Richmond?
  don't break up man
  keep it together
  I love you guys
  I LOVE YOU GUYS
  funky funky scallop boat