alright, ralph...happy birthday...you freak...
  you're breakin' hearts and you're breakin' guitars
  today's your birthday and you don't even know how old you are
  you're in love with every woman from tyler
  you went swimming in the ocean with my goddamn dialer
  you used to be fat, i think then i liked you best
  'cuz now you're skinny, i'm chubby, and you make fun of my breasts
  and i'm sorry, but this may sound weird
  but you gotta do something 'bout the food in your beard
    [Chorus:]
  happy birthday, ralph
  i love you
  even though you are fu?kin' disgusting
  happy birthday, ralph
  i love you
  even though you are fu?kin' disgusting
    [Bridge:]
  you can't wear your bike hat because of your hair
  wherever you go, u break everything everywhere
  this year, sixth gear, now get on your way
  (Shut off the stereo chorus, and the digital delay.)
    some people, they think, they think you're rhastafarian
  and they ask you for pot
  i think i like it, i know i like it
  i like it a lot because, because it pisses you off
  so for your birthday
  i got you some hawaiian punch on tap
  age p.o.t.
  so now you can stop borrowing my stuff
  and trying your new kung fu moves out on me
    [Chorus]
  [Bridge]
    happy birthday, ralph, i love you
  even though you have a beard (are fuckin')
  happy birthday, ralph, i love you
  even though you are perverted and weird
    [Chorus]
    happy birthday, ralph, i love you