Oh, the fire's burning slow
  Now, where's that mistletoe
  Dear, it's getting kind of hot in here
  I need a taste of Christmas cheer
  I hope he gets here quick, I need a St. Nick fix
  Oooo-eee, I just want him to be all wrapped up for me
  Santa's never been this hard to resist
  But Santa never used to look like this
    [Chorus]
  He's traded in his reindeer for a limousine
  He's wearing purple trousers instead of red and green
  This Christmas, I'm wanting something I've never had
  'Cause Santa's got a brand new bag (oh, oh)
    Now, I've got to, got to find out how
  To make him want to settle down
  I've got his big fat kiss
  Right at the top of my list
  So we can build a little candy home
  And have a few elves of our own
  I want to sneak a peek at my surprise
  And see tradition metamorphosize
    [Second Chorus]
  He's given up the cookies and he's slimming down
  He bought a little bungalow in Tinsel Town
  This Christmas, I'm wanting something I've never had
  'Cause Santa's got a brand new bag (oh yeah)
    [Breakdown Chorus]
  As he finds his Zen down on the kitchen floor
  He lights a fat Cohiba from his humidor
  This Christmas, I want something I've never had
  'Cause Santa's got a brand new bag
    [Third Chorus]
  He's got a Rickenbacher and he's bleached his hair
  He's rockin' to the rhythm with a Latin flair
  This Christmas, I'm wanting something I've never had
  'Cause Santa's got a brand new
    [Fourth Chorus]
  He's reading Socrates and cooking French cuisine
  He's pictured on the front of "Money" magazine
  This Christmas, I'm wanting something I've never had
  'Cause Santa's got a brand new
  Santa's got, Santa's got a brand new bag