There's the Reds and there's the Greens
  Super slicks and has beens,
  They're accompanied by three men dressed in black,
  One's a whistle, two are flags, and quite often they're the drags
  Kick the ball into the goal, they put it back.
    Yes Match of the Day's
  The only way, to spend your Saturday
    Each side's eleven men, with numbers on their backs
  But at a distance they all tend to look the same
  But some own their boutiques, well they clean up every week
  Inciting riots, causing chaos, such a shame!
    But Match of the Day's
  The only way
  We spend our Saturday
    And that's not all, our mates the keepers
  Slippin' and sliding in the mud
  Arms as long as creepers
    Send him off Ref' ***!!++??
  Where are your specs Ref' +++***!!!
  Kick you to death Ref' !!XX**??
  Oi! Are you deaf Ref' X*+X*!!?
    There's a few things before we go
  That I think you ought to know
  Obstruction, Body Checking, heavy tackles
  So put on your hat and scarf
  Have a drink, have a larf'
  From the terrace you can see your men do battle
    Yes Match of the Day's
  The only way
  You can spend your Saturday
    Don't forget, the trainers with their sponges
  Managers with open cheques, liquid business lunches
    Send 'im off Ref' ***!!++??
  Where are your specs Ref' !***&&&!!!
  Kick you to death Ref' !!XX**??
  Oi! Are you deaf Ref' X&+X&+!!?
    ...Phfff! Good game 'ey, Ron?...
  ...D'you see that goal in the Second Half? oh!...
  ...Bit of a dirty tackle that, mate!...
  ...I reckon I should've had a bet on it myself!...
  ...We paid 400, 000 pound for him, you realise that?...
  ...Oh - look out, here comes a bottle ...
  ...Yes, fancy a pint then? My round...