I was sitting in my basement.
  I just rolled myself a taste
  Of something green and gold and glorious
  To get me through the day.
  Then my friend yelled through the transom
  "Grab your coat and get your hat son,
  There's a nut down on the corner,
  Givin' dollar bills away"
  But I laid around a bit
  Then I had another hit.
  Then I rolled myself a bomber.
  Then I thought about my mama.
  Then I fooled around, played around
  jacked around a while and then
  I got stoned and I missed it.
  I got stoned and I missed it.
  I got stoned and it rolled right by.
  I got stoned and I missed it.
  I got stoned and I missed it.
  I got stoned... oh me... oh my.
  
  
  It took seven months of urgin'
  Just to get that local virgin
  With the sweet face
  Up to my place
  To fool around a bit.
  Next day she woke up rosy,
  And she snuggled up so cozy.
  When she asked me how I liked it,
  Lord it hurts me to admit,
  I got stoned and I missed it.
  I got stoned and I missed it.
  I got stoned and it rolled right by.
  I got stoned and I missed it.
  I got stoned and I missed it.
  I got stoned... oh me... oh my.
  I'm makin' no excuses
  
  
  For the many things I uses
  Just to sweeten up my relationships
  And brighten up my day.
  When my earthly race is over
  And I'm ready for the clover
  And they ask me how my life has been
  I guess I'll have to say,
  I got stoned and I missed it.
  I got stoned and I missed it.
  I got stoned and it rolled right by.
  I got stoned and I missed it.
  I got stoned and I missed it.
  I got stoned... oh me... oh my